Rakusho's Xanga

Thursday, November 05, 2009

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 18:01:15 GMT

So close, yet still, split apart.
But still, better than the past.
Take what is already set out in front of you.
And appreciate what has been given.

Your quiet warmth made the day float into the skies.
High and above.
A smile, brings forth the day and carries on towards the ever long, winding road.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Tue, 27 Oct 2009 05:11:31 GMT

I've tried. I've tried really hard to be there for my friends.
The cause seems to have dwindled away, and all I end up doing, is hurting myself.
I get upset on a sub-conscious level and end up not being able to sleep.
I wanted to play Wii-Fit, but was angered for no reason and threw my Wii- remote and broke it into pieces,
then moped and pissy for being an idiot.

I sit here, still upset and unable to sleep. Trying to listen to music to calm down the nerves.
I always want my friends to be happy and have fun. I get around and try to help them out, make things fun for them.
But sometimes, you get excited, and when something you were expecting to happen, doesn't go the way you thoguht it would, it tears you apart. Left with shredded paper, you try to piece ot all back together but can't find all the missing parts, because some blew away with the wind.

The last piece of glass I held on to, has been shattered, and I no longer have the strength to piece it back together.
It is time to move beyond that glass window. To let go and acknowledge that certain things, will forever, remain broken.

Tonight, I will be leaving something behind; and only time will it come back to me.
The restless nights of staying up, in hopes to talk to you, just like you do with him, has taken its toll on me but not because of you alone. So many things, put together that want to happen but cannot happen and will most likely not happen. If it were ever to happen, it would be long time from now.

Emotions fade with time but they only start fading when you tell yourself to let it go.
Your smile will always forever bring me a warm smile, I tried my best to keep you happy, to keep you from having as much fun as you can when we play something but sometimes, when you skip out and turn around without saying a word, it leaves me out in the cold. I try to keep it to myself because all it ever does is make us argue and yell for no reason. It makes me happy when you are having fun but at the same time when things go sour, it feels like there is a wall between us.

I know we all have something to struggle with but I am drawing my line now, I have put myself forward to achieve a better atmosphere for everyone and now it is time to take a step backwards so I myself, can move forward.

Good luck, and god speed.
May we all have the safest journey to our destinations.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Tue, 27 Oct 2009 04:33:47 GMT

Hope, sometimes makes us do things completely driven by emotion.
I think I have driven myself and pushed past the boundary where I should have stopped.
I reached out, and tried to find a hand to hold on and pull me out.
I will sulk back into the waters, once where I deemed myself lost, and forgotten about.
I have used up the last of my straws. Succumbing to my emotions and lost thoughts, I will do once again.
But with a different type of drive. One that has grown through the years of walking on that road that never seemed to end. I found another one; and will now walk on this new found road.

The time to relinquish the memories and the fantasy dreams of romance and ever-sweet moments will fade like mist in the wind.
I've given all that I can and I am now somewhere that I do not want the everyday emotional conflict of my life to interfere with. Always holding onto straws for others, but now, it is time to relinquish those go-caring duties.
It has grown me to be who I am, and has now prepared another road for me to take, which will eventually lead back the one I started.

This path, glazed with the fire of desire to push forward, to push unhindered (or try to).
I have tried, I have sought the path to help others, but I can help no more.
The emotional drain, to help others, the fire, has dwindled and shone its last bit of light.
I will help, but no more than what I will do on a normal basis.

Life has taken its toll and is preparing a ship to set on a longer journey. It is now my turn to shape the rest.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Thu, 22 Oct 2009 03:32:41 GMT

Time flies by pretty quickly.
We all have come a long way, haven't we?

Monday, October 19, 2009

Mon, 19 Oct 2009 06:51:42 GMT

Step forward,
Step by step,
Look within the fire that drives you forward.
And let it burn, bright and orange.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Wed, 14 Oct 2009 04:40:49 GMT

I think it's time I let the line go.
Really, deep down.
Loosen the grip and really, step forward.
It's the major changes that you take in life that will reflect
Inside of you. If you are able to stick to it;
Then you are on a path.

Good luck, and good hunting.

The Journey of Life

Mon, 12 Oct 2009 04:23:22 GMT

Once in awhile; you look at life and think back on all the things that have made who you are.

Present time, in the realm of reality. What is there to say, the choices we make, we sometimes think that changing them will do good, but perhaps changing it may have resulted in something else.
There is no definite choice you can make in life. Only a choice and hope it is correct; or make a choice and stick with the results.

           Life does not give way for you. What happens is final. But you always have to remember that no matter where you go, no matter where you run, those decisions in the past will stay because they have created you.
You are running, because of those decisions. The very reason you are escaping reality is because of those choices.

           But that is what we do in life, is it not? To step forward, to learn new things. Deep down, regardless what kind of person you are, there is that inner desire to do so. Hope and will, is what we loose sight of.
When it times of failure, or of a low from something else, an external factor that affects oneself.
An important thing to remember is that there will always be someone willing to help you out.
You have to be willing to admit to yourself that something is wrong, then gather the strength and willpower to step forward, away from the slump that we live in, to attain our goals.

           People change, life changes us, one way or the other. We learn from either realization, experience, or the harsh truth of failure. We also let our emotions affect our judgment. People will disagree that they do not, however, within us, there can be a minor bias that we are not aware of, in which will alter our opinion to something of a particular topic.

           There are people who, now starting there first year of post-secondary life, who do not realize the impending consequences of priorities. Granted it is not an easy thing to change, even I myself, when I know I have to do work, will be pulled away by not doing something that needs to be done; but that is a matter of getting down to why we are not doing work. Back to the subject, there are people who still have to fix certain parts of there priorities, on a bigger scale, before it pulls them down.
Granted it is never too late for something, but it is also never too late for life to swing the reality hammer on you, and make you grasp hard onto what you have. To recover, from those mistakes, is a journey that can be rough beyond all means.

           To watch, friends, not take important things seriously enough, is also a gruesome scene to watch.
But at the same time, you try to help, knowing that only the mistakes and the severity of what is to come, really influence them into the consequences of not taking things into proper matters.

           Emotions, what we call human emotions, drive us to do. all sort of different things, good, bad, academic, murder, crime, love, hate, and whatever else there is that you can think of.
The root of it, mental and psychological, attuned with our character and personality results in various actions. The environment in which we grew up in, also affects the outcome of how we become who we are.
There are times in your life, you choose to make decision, purely by emotion, even when logical reasoning defies it or makes it impractical to do so. Is it the right one? Are we willing to endure that kind of pressure and roller coaster of feelings and depression that accompanies such choice. We do the strangest of things due to our emotions.

So anyway, long post aside; I will be writing more later.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!.
-Shroker

P.S. indenting seems to be broken

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Sun, 11 Oct 2009 17:18:59 GMT

An Abyss of Thoughts.
A never ending link of dreams.
Forever traveling;
Forever thinking.
Who knows, where it will lead.

Sunday, October 04, 2009

Sun, 04 Oct 2009 02:00:13 GMT

A warm smile, brings enlightenment.

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Wed, 30 Sep 2009 04:30:31 GMT

Ha! The simplicities of life.
I came to realize, when I sit down and work, with ambient or some sort of music that is very loud.
(Not particularly upbeat but it's subtle, does that make sense?). I seem to be in a much more reflective mood.
It's quite nice, being able to look at things and sort piece together what has changed since ones younger self.

Hm, this post ended up being shorter than I thought ,was going to write this long post about various aspects of things.
I guess doing my homework is keeping my mind from delving on these things.
Maybe tomorrow.

See you on the other side,
Ghost.