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| So close, yet still, split apart.
But still, better than the past.
Take what is already set out in front of you.
And appreciate what has been given.
Your quiet warmth made the day float into the skies.
High and above.
A smile, brings forth the day and carries on towards the ever long, winding road.
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I've tried. I've tried really hard to be there for my friends.
The cause seems to have dwindled away, and all I end up doing, is hurting myself.
I get upset on a sub-conscious level and end up not being able to sleep.
I wanted to play Wii-Fit, but was angered for no reason and threw my Wii- remote and broke it into pieces,
then moped and pissy for being an idiot.
I sit here, still upset and unable to sleep. Trying to listen to music to calm down the nerves.
I always want my friends to be happy and have fun. I get around and try to help them out, make things fun for them.
But sometimes, you get excited, and when something you were expecting to happen, doesn't go the way you thoguht it would, it tears you apart. Left with shredded paper, you try to piece ot all back together but can't find all the missing parts, because some blew away with the wind.
The last piece of glass I held on to, has been shattered, and I no longer have the strength to piece it back together.
It is time to move beyond that glass window. To let go and acknowledge that certain things, will forever, remain broken.
Tonight, I will be leaving something behind; and only time will it come back to me.
The restless nights of staying up, in hopes to talk to you, just like you do with him, has taken its toll on me but not because of you alone. So many things, put together that want to happen but cannot happen and will most likely not happen. If it were ever to happen, it would be long time from now.
Emotions fade with time but they only start fading when you tell yourself to let it go.
Your smile will always forever bring me a warm smile, I tried my best to keep you happy, to keep you from having as much fun as you can when we play something but sometimes, when you skip out and turn around without saying a word, it leaves me out in the cold. I try to keep it to myself because all it ever does is make us argue and yell for no reason. It makes me happy when you are having fun but at the same time when things go sour, it feels like there is a wall between us.
I know we all have something to struggle with but I am drawing my line now, I have put myself forward to achieve a better atmosphere for everyone and now it is time to take a step backwards so I myself, can move forward.
Good luck, and god speed.
May we all have the safest journey to our destinations.
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Hope, sometimes makes us do things completely driven by emotion.
I think I have driven myself and pushed past the boundary where I should have stopped.
I reached out, and tried to find a hand to hold on and pull me out.
I will sulk back into the waters, once where I deemed myself lost, and forgotten about.
I have used up the last of my straws. Succumbing to my emotions and lost thoughts, I will do once again.
But with a different type of drive. One that has grown through the years of walking on that road that never seemed to end. I found another one; and will now walk on this new found road.
The time to relinquish the memories and the fantasy dreams of romance and ever-sweet moments will fade like mist in the wind.
I've given all that I can and I am now somewhere that I do not want the everyday emotional conflict of my life to interfere with. Always holding onto straws for others, but now, it is time to relinquish those go-caring duties.
It has grown me to be who I am, and has now prepared another road for me to take, which will eventually lead back the one I started.
This path, glazed with the fire of desire to push forward, to push unhindered (or try to).
I have tried, I have sought the path to help others, but I can help no more.
The emotional drain, to help others, the fire, has dwindled and shone its last bit of light.
I will help, but no more than what I will do on a normal basis.
Life has taken its toll and is preparing a ship to set on a longer journey. It is now my turn to shape the rest.
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| Time flies by pretty quickly.
We all have come a long way, haven't we?
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| Step forward,
Step by step,
Look within the fire that drives you forward.
And let it burn, bright and orange.
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The Mess Hall
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Current Background: My Violin in Black and White
Camera : Canon EOS Digital Rebel
Wide Angle Lens 10 - 22mm (Canon)
F/3.5
Expo : 1/6
ISO 100
Cropped to show this picture
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